I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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