i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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