i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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