girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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