i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You need a sexual gate keeper
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
