I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
