Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
