After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
