On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
