Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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