If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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