Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
