Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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