I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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