About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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