I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
