I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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