Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
