So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
