Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
