I just cut my nipple shaving
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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