I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
