Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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