she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
is that a dick in a sweater?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
