But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
