after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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