You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
