my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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