I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need moral support for this bender
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
