no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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