the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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