At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
