fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
