note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
