dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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