Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize