I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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