you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
