You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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