Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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