so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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