Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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