I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
