Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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