Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Someone signed my nipple.
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