we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
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after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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