Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize