Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
this will be a night to untag.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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