He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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