Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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