I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
