Already got asked if we're dating
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
