I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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