I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize