Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How external is "for external use only"?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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