He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
