we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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