she kept yelling 'call me bella'
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
