As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
