shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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