Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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